As stated by others, the vapour and liquid loads vary with height in a distillation column. The relative sizes of the stripping and rectifying sections will mainly depend on the condition of your feed. A sub-cooled feed will condense vapours coming up the stripping section, resulting in less vapour in the rectifying section. On the other hand, a super heated vapour feed will result in higher vapour traffic in the rectifying section.
The densities are often more a function of composition than temperature. In your ethanol-water separation the liquid will be more dense at the bottom because it will have a higher fraction of water. The vapour will be more dense at the top because of the higher molecular mass of ethanol.
The superficial vapour velocity is typically in the range of 0.5 to maybe 1.2 m/s, but you should not design on this basis. The design must be based on a detailed analysis of the tray pressure drop, the downcomer residence time and other parameters.