4 replies to this topic

[Spoonerism]

I graduated with a degree in chemical engineering in May 2025 and started my first process engineering role in August of 2025. In the beginning of January 2026, my relationship with my girlfriend ended with me in a really ugly manner. I’ll spare you the details but the point is that this break up lead to an unhealthy amount of rumination about how it ended. This level of rumination is what made me question if I had something going on mentally.

Looking back, I’ve likely dealt with lifelong anxiety, but I didn't recognize it at the time. Majoring in ChemE and playing college golf meant a brutally tight schedule leading to me doing 17 all-nighters, which severely exacerbated my mental health. Looking back I’ve always ruminated, and it had being getting worse leading g up to my graduation, but the breakup was the tipping point, as the rumination crippled me so much I couldn't focus at work. Since I couldn’t focus at work, I fell behind, and tried to compensate by working massive extra hours off the clock just to keep up. Because I was constantly drowning in work and catch-up time, I couldn't see a doctor to get help before things boiled over. As a result, I was fired in May 2026.

Since then, I’ve dropped back to my old high school job as a farm research technician. I am finally getting professional help (seeing a psychiatrist and waiting on therapy), but honestly, I'm still struggling to maintain performance even at this lower-stress job. Right now, I know I couldn't handle an engineering workload. Despite that, I’ve been applying as much as I can since being fired, targeting engineering roles that match my experience level. I've had a few interviews, but my confidence is shattered, and my job history from this past year is tough to explain without saying I was essentially incompetent for the job due to my mental health.

So, am I cooked? Should I just give up on trying to get an engineering role?

[katmar]

You have done the correct thing by seeking professional help.  There may be engineers here who have had similar experiences and can offer you some encouragement.  But I would suggest that you take any advice here simply as encouragement and reassurance that you are not alone and rather make important decisions based on professional medical advice.

[breizh]

Hi,

I believe Katmar told you the right thing, get support from a professional. Get back on your feet before looking for Job. As you pointed out engineering work is very stressful, why don't you consider other jobs like working in a factory, doing process work assistant to operation manager or may be teaching in the Chem Eng Field?

Good luck.

Breizh

[snickster]

You need to come out of your thoughts and learn to live in the present moment.  To do this you must be able to look at your own thoughts objectively like as if they were independent things from who you are, like as if you were looking at TV or something.  In this way you don't get emotionally involved in them.  Then since you don't struggle with them they will gradually fade away until one day you will live in the absolute present moment where all understanding and real life exists.

 

You must understand that you are not your thoughts.  Your thoughts originate in your brain which is just a physical tool like your hands. You are not any of the activities or thoughts of your brain.  You are what observes your thoughts - your pure conscience.  That is where you got to get to when you exists as pure conscience objectively observing your thoughts not living in the past or future but the present moment.

 

A good guide on this is Roy Masters of The Foundation of Human Understanding.  I think Roy may have passed by now but his sons have continued on at the following link. I started listening to Roy when I was about your age (1980's) and he was the only one that was able to get my mind out of the sea of rumination thoughts.  It doesn't happen overnight but gradually little by little.

 

Foundation of Human Understanding -

 

Roy's fundamental lesson on this is contained in his book How Your Mind Can Keep You Well and associated audio tapes:

 

How...Your Mind Can Keep You Well : Roy Masters : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

 

How Your Mind Can Keep You Well: Observation Exercise (Red L

 

Roy has numerous books on dealing with stress and calming your thoughts down among many other topics you can find on the FOHU website.

Edited by snickster, 07 October 2026 - 05:14 PM.

[latexman]

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Jimmie V’s “Never Give Up”.